nanner: losertakesall: vanboobsenstein: ...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

losertakesall:

vanboobsenstein:

greengrey:

vanboobsenstein:

speakgirl:

weirdsociology:

dazaibrosamu:

fluxcapacitoppar:

autumn-and-eve:

rosemannequin:

homorobotica:

fraudstory:

richwhitelesbian:

i hope rick santorum is walking down the street and someone is walking the opposite way towards him and they both try to go around eachother the same direction and end up both looking like complete tools to all the cars driving by

I hope Rick Santorum orders a pizza and expects the pizza to be the best he’s ever eaten, but it is a very mediocre pizza and it ruins his day.

I hope Rick Santorum gets a burrito and it’s in terrible layers from top to bottom.

I hope someone hacks into Rick Santorum’s Facebook account and posts “I like men”.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to go into the subway expecting to refill his MetroCard with a five dollar bill but all of the machines say “No Bills Accepted” and he has to walk to where he wants to go

i hope rick santorum goes to rip out a piece of paper from a notebook and it rips right in half

i hope santorum asks someone to pick him up a bottle of irish whiskey at the liquor store, but instead they get him canadian whiskey by mistake. (this happened to me once and i never recovered.)

I hope Rick Santorum logs into Netflix and finds his queue out of order.

I hope Rick Santorum orders a latte with no foam and then picks up someone else’s cappuccino by mistake but the line is really long and the barista can’t hear him when he says his drink is wrong so he’s forced to start his day off foamily.

I hope Rick Santorum is driving around and around looking for a parking spot, and he finally sees one but it’s on the other side of the street and by the time he’s turned his car around someone else has parked there.

I hope Rick Santorum goes to the food store looking for one specific item. The store is out of the item he desired, so he drives the the other store. They are also out of the item he wanted.

…and this item is Nutella and nobody in the world will sell him Nutella and he is destined to live out the rest of his days in a Nutella-free existence.

I hope Rick Santorum’s blush explodes in his purse, and for a month everything he pulls out of his purse comes out pink and covered in shimmer.

I hope Rick Santorum’s Check Engine light comes on when he takes it to the garage to have it hooked up to diagnostic machine, they can’t find anything wrong, but they really think he should invest in these new high-tech kevlar windshield wipers that are about $100 a pop.